Giving Birth (from Archive)

As soon as I knew where babies came from, I started asking questions about childbirth. I asked my mum, my aunt, my grandma. I asked friends of my mum and friends of my friends' mums. When I got married, I asked my mother-in-law, his sisters, my sister-in-law and women I worked with who had children. I just needed to know all the gory details, so I would be prepared if I ever had children of my own one day.

I heard so many stories; some good and some bad that I thought I had everything covered in my head. The thing is, too much information can boggle your brain. Scenarios of every possible birth swamped my mind. I really imagined it would be the worst and most painful experience I would ever go through. I did NCT classes and pregnancy yoga, which helped to relax me mentally and physically and get ready for labour.

When the day finally arrived that I started my labour, I was set to breathe deeply and go with the contractions. I hadn't counted on the fact that I would first have two full days of pre-labour pains. When they started, I ran a lovely deep bath to unwind in and thought to myself, 'this is a piece of cake'. What I didn't imagine was how the pains would get stronger and stronger.

After the first few hours, I got dressed in nice, clean clothes, fetched my overnight bag for the hospital and made my way there in the car with my husband. I felt very smug with myself that I was dealing with it all so well. Then the midwife on duty checked me and told me that I was only 3cm dilated and was not in proper labour yet, so to go home and come back when I was in agony. Very sound but scary advice.

The thing is, it came on so gradually that I had to ask myself if I was in enough agony or not. I decided to pop over and see our neighbours to take my mind off things, as it was a sunny day. We all sat in the garden enjoying the sunshine and chatting as if it was just another normal day. I was in pre-labour though, so was rigged up to my TENS machine. I started popping pills from my homeopathy pregnancy kit. I felt calm as I let the rhythmic pulsations pass through my body from the TENS machine, and psychologically supported from the homeopathic pills.

As the pain worsened, we drove nearer to the hospital and went to my mum's house, as she was to be a birth partner for me, along with my husband. During the night, my stomach cramps got worse and it felt like bad period pain. I went to the toilet and noticed that I had had a 'show'. We made our way to the hospital again but this time I wore a blood-smeared nightdress and my husband was in dirty shorts from lying in the garden earlier that afternoon.

Once there, I was checked again and was only 6cm dilated. I was calling out for pethidine and an epidural. After reading my birth plan, I was advised by a midwife named Martha to relax in the bath. Martha said that my birth plan stated that under no circumstances to give me pethidine or an epidural and that I wanted a natural water birth. I wrote the thing and cursed myself at the time. Later though, when I had dilated to 9cm, I submerged into the pool and was so grateful to my midwife. In fact, I later named my daughter after her.

My husband said he wanted to get in with me but the midwife took one look at his muddy shorts and said he would have to remove those first. He declared that he wasn't wearing anything underneath and she asked where I had got him from, laughing. He started to wash the small amount of blood from my knickers so he could wear them but I quickly told him that I would prefer being alone in the pool...

I can actually and truthfully say that I went on to really enjoy my labour. I felt so relaxed in the water and was allowed to sip at plastic cups filled with Lucozade and ice cubes to give me energy and keep me cool. I listened to music on a CD player I had packed and I bobbed up and down contentedly in the water. My husband and mum took turns to hold my hand and reassured me throughout. I'm an Aromatherpist and I had made up an oil blend for the occasion, which I used to help relax.

A different midwife on duty now, told me that I wasn't at a day spa and that if I didn't push the baby out soon, I would have to go on 'dry land' to give birth (it was said nicely, with humour). It was the push I needed, so I let myself go completely with the natural pushing sensations that came to me. I had a bit of a panic for a few moments, which I learnt was called 'transition' when you don't believe you can do it and think you have the option to change for mind about pushing your baby out. I felt a burning sensation down below for a moment until one final push lead me to meet my 7 pound 12 baby daughter, who floated up to greet me and I held her slippery body in my arms. It was one of the best days of my life.